The Power of Saying No (And Why I'm Terrible At It)
Here's something I need to work on in 2026: saying no.
It's one of my biggest weaknesses. Someone asks for help? Yes. An invitation to speak? Yes. New business opportunity? Sure, why not.
Before I know it, the things that truly matter get squeezed into whatever time is left over.
Sound familiar?
Recently we've talked about setting your goals, developing your POST (Purpose, Objectives, Strategy, Tactics), clarifying your values. That's the first step.
But here's what I'm learning: once you know what you're saying yes to, you need to learn when to say no.
Why No Feels Impossible
We don't want to disappoint people. We fear missing out. We want to be helpful. We underestimate the cost of "just quickly" helping.
But here's the truth: every yes to something that doesn't align with your purpose is a no to something that does.
The POST Filter
Does this opportunity serve my purpose? Move me toward my objectives? Fit my strategy? If not, it's a no - however tempting, however flattering, however urgent.
Your POST isn't just about what you're going to do. It's equally about what you're going to stop doing.
The Real Cost
Every commitment has three costs: the time it takes, the mental energy it demands, and what you're not doing because you're doing this instead.
That "quick favour" might take an hour, but if it breaks your flow, the real cost is three hours to get back into deep work.
What I'm Trying
Create a decision framework. Does this align with my 2026 POST? If not immediate, it's a no.
Use the 24-hour rule. Unless genuinely urgent, give yourself a day before responding. The pressure fades when you sleep on it.
Practice the soft no. "I appreciate you thinking of me, but my focus this year is on X, and I need to protect that time."
Remember no is complete. You don't owe lengthy explanations. People respect clarity.
Your Challenge
1. Review your POST for 2026
2. Look at your commitments for the next month
3. Identify three things that don't align
4. Practice saying no
Will it be uncomfortable? Yes. Will some people be disappointed? Probably. Will it free up energy for what matters? Absolutely.
Warren Buffett said: "The difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say no to almost everything."
You've clarified your direction. Now protect it.
I'm working on it. Let's work on it together.
Because every no to the wrong thing is a yes to the right thing.
What's one thing you need to say no to this week?
